


To The End

by havokwritesstuff



Series: havokwritesstuff (blog) [5]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DC - Fandom, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Death, Graphic Violence, Injury, Murder, Other, mentions of drugs/overdose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havokwritesstuff/pseuds/havokwritesstuff
Summary: You and Jason are both brutally murdered by The Joker, but Jason is brought back to life without you, so he makes a deal with the Demon’s Head. If he completes 1000 contracts for the League Of Assassins over the course of a year, you’ll get to live again.Inspired by the story from the album Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance
Relationships: Jason Todd/Reader
Series: havokwritesstuff (blog) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624438
Comments: 18
Kudos: 121





	1. So Long And Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t based off of any particular continuity. I basically just took what I liked from Under The Red Hood, Death In The Family, Lost Days, and whatever the hell happened in Rebirth. Jason and the reader are both 17.

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

Jason looked over at you as the two of you approached the warehouse. “You can go wait by the bikes if you’re that worried.”

You scoffed. “Hell no. I’m not letting you go in there alone. If everything goes how it’s supposed to, perfect, but that never happens.”

“Well now you’re just jinxing it.”

A few days earlier, Jason received a letter from a woman named Sheila Haywood. In it, she claimed that she was Jason’s birth mother. He could’ve easily written it off, but she included a lot of details that led him to believe it was legitimate.

He intended to go meet her in Quarac, where she was working as a doctor, alone and without you or Bruce having even a clue. But you could tell that something was up, and once you found out his plan, there was no question of whether you would be joining him.

Shortly after you and Jason arrived in the country, Sheila contacted him, mentioning that there were major issues with medical supplies, namely local criminals stealing whatever they could get their hands on when shipments came in. So the two of you suited up as Robin and Sparrow to hopefully solve the problem.

That was what led you to the warehouse, the exact coordinates that Sheila had given you. While Jason was a bit blinded by the prospect of meeting his birth mother, you weren’t so sure about it all. It seemed awfully convenient, her suddenly showing up out of the blue. But you weren’t there for her, you were there for Jason, just like he would be if the situation were reversed.

“Keep your guard up,” he warned as you got to the door. The issue was, the warehouse had no windows and you were getting nothing from the thermal imaging in your mask because of the material making up the exterior walls. Neither of you could be sure what you were walking into. You were going in blind.

Once inside, there was no one to be seen. You and Jason looked at each other for a moment, silently deciding to split up and check it out. You went left and looked for any heat signatures on your side, seeing only one.

You got closer to the person and tapped the side of your mask, shutting off that setting. On the ground, you found a blonde woman lying there, a pool of blood spreading under her head and across the concrete floor. You kneeled down next to her and saw the large wound in her skull, definitely from a gun. Point blank too. But what caught your eye was the ID badge hung around her neck that read ‘Dr Sheila Haywood’.

“Dammit,” you muttered. “Robin, I found Sheila, but she’s…she’s dead. The wound looks pretty fresh though. Whoever did it is probably still here, or close by at least.”

All you heard in return was static.

“Robin, do you copy?…Robin?”

“The other little birdy is otherwise occupied. But you were right…” The voice made your eyes widen beneath your domino mask and you turned to see none other than The Joker standing there, that wide grin plastered on his pale face. “I’m still here!”

The next thing you knew, a green gas surrounded you and you lifted your cape up over your nose and mouth, but it was too late. Your vision began to ripple and blur, and Joker’s loud laugh pierced your eardrums painfully. You fell to the floor next to Sheila’s body with a thump as everything slowly faded out.

“I can’t believe it! Two for the price of one. We’re gonna have so much fun together!”

—-

As Jason slowly came to, it took him a moment to remember what happened. The warehouse, the Joker goons, the knockout gas. Before he even opened his eyes, the strong metallic scent of blood filled his nostrils, and he heard a loud smack behind him. Then the unmistakable cackle of The Joker.

When he opened his eyes and they got used to the light, he found a dead body laying about a foot away from him. A blonde woman with a gaping hole in her head staring back at him with her dull eyes. He noticed the name on her badge and it made him feel sick. It was Sheila, his newly discovered mother, dead in front of him.

Another smack and a soft groan of pain snapped him out of it when he realized that it sounded like you. His limbs felt like lead, but Jason did his best to turn around. He made it just in time to see the clown bring a bloodied crowbar down on your head.

You were drenched in blood, your face swollen and cut from several other blows. The domino mask that covered your eyes was half torn off and your suit had several rips in it, the light blue fabric of it almost completely stained dark red. He couldn’t even tell if you were still alive until you let out a violent cough, blood spewing out of your mouth and onto the concrete.

“Sparrow!”

Joker turned to him with a grin, drops of your blood splattered across his face and suit. “Ah, the other birdy’s awake! This one was getting boring anyway.” He slammed the crowbar down on your stomach one more time and you didn’t even flinch.

Jason tried to get up so he could help you, so he could do _something_ , but whatever he’d been dosed with to knock him out had him too weak to move much. That didn’t stop him from trying though. He had to help you, he had to, only he didn’t have the chance before Joker shifted all of his attention over to him.

It wasn’t long until Jason got closer to the same shape you were in, but instead of the pain, he tried to focus on you. You hadn’t moved an inch and he couldn’t even see any rise and fall of your chest to indicate that you were breathing.

“What hurts more? A? Or B? Forehand? Or backhand?”

Jason mostly stayed silent, taking every hit and swallowing any noises that tried to escape, but a bit of blood gurgled in his throat. Joker kneeled down next to him and grabbed his hair, wrenching his head up. “What was that? You’ll have to speak a little louder. It sounds like you may have a bit of a collapsed lung.”

Joker’s grin faltered slightly when Jason spit at his face, the red standing out against his white skin. He let Jason’s head smack against the concrete and stood up again to continue his assault, his laughter echoing through the warehouse.

—-

As soon as he heard the door slam shut, Jason brought his knees to his chest and moved his bound hands from behind his back to his front. He struggled to stand, swaying on an injured leg as he stumbled over and fell next to you on the floor. “(Y/N)?”

You didn’t respond, but he was close enough to hear your soft, wheezing breaths. He was in so much pain, but in that moment, all he could think of was how relieved he was that you were still alive. He reached out and touched your face in spite of the blood on it. “(Y/N)? Can you hear me? He’s gone. We have to go.”

You stirred a bit, his voice helping bring you out of the barely conscious state you were in. “J-Jay?” The simple word sent you into a coughing fit, more blood splattering on the floor. You attempted to move, but your body just felt numb. “I…I can’t.”

In all the time he knew you, he had never heard your voice sound so broken and weak. “You can. I’ll help you, okay?”

Jason dragged himself along the floor, pulling you with him. You tried to help how you could, but it wasn’t much. Everything was getting dimmer and complete darkness started closing in on your vision. There was a concerningly large trail of blood following you where you went, much worse than his, he just tried not to think about it.

Finally, Jason got you to where you both leaned against the wall, right next to the door. He grabbed the handle and tried to pull it open, but realized it was locked from the outside, meaning he couldn’t pick it. He looked over at you where you sat with your head resting on his shoulder. “It’s locked. We can’t get out.”

No response.

“(Y/N)?” He listened for a moment and realized you weren’t breathing anymore. He carefully reached his hands up to your neck, feeling for a pulse and hoping he was wrong.

But he wasn’t.

Your heart was no longer beating.

You were dead and it was his fault. _His fucking fault._ If he’d gone without you, you would still be alive and well back in Gotham.

His hands dropped back to his lap as a single tear escaped his eye at the realization that you wouldn’t be going home ever again. That was when he noticed the soft beeping to his left, and he looked over to see a bomb counting down. It was made with enough C4 to take down the whole building.

Even if Bruce was on his way somehow, he wouldn’t be able to get through the door and pull Jason out in time. He had no intention of leaving you there anyway. After all, a promise was a promise when he made it to the one person that had always been there for him. The person he loved most. His future.

But now his future was gone, all because Sheila tricked him, and he stupidly believed it and dragged you with him. It was only a matter of seconds before he would be dead too. Even though he didn’t really believe in much, he hoped he would be with you somehow, somewhere.

As the timer ticked down, Jason threw his arms around you, shielding you from the blast with his own body, even though you were already gone.

He heard the boom and felt the heat, then there was nothing.

_Absolutely nothing._


	2. Give 'Em Hell, Kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went more Under The Red Hood than comics for this part because it makes more sense than Superboy punching reality or whatever. Italics are a flashback.

The black nothingness became a bright green light, blinding and rippling like water. It seemed like he was on fire and drowning all at once. There were voices echoing in his ears and every sound made his head feel as if it were going to split in two.

Jason sat up with a gasp, dazed and confused when he found himself in an unfamiliar room, all stone and torch lit. The last thing he remembered was realizing you were dead and the bomb going off, presumably killing him too. He looked down and found himself dressed in strange clothes, and when he checked, there were no injuries to be found.

It didn’t make sense. He could remember the pain every time the crowbar hit him, the bruises and cuts and internal damage that shouldn’t have been healed. He could remember every bit of hope being drained from him when he realized you were gone. Did none of that happen?

The one thing he knew for sure was that he needed to figure out what the hell was going on.

Jason got up from the bed, the floor cold under his feet as he tiptoed to the door. He peeked out into the hall and he didn’t see anyone, but two distinct voices traveled down the hall speaking in…Arabic, he believed. They got closer, though he couldn’t hear any footsteps, so he knew they were trained. As they finally passed, he glimpsed the familiar red and black uniforms they were wearing. They were League Of Assassins.

Once they turned a corner, he ducked out of the room and kept his back pressed to the wall. Everything out there was made of stone as well, lit by the torches on the walls. He must have been on Nanda Parbat, the base of the League. Bruce mentioned it once, but he’d never been there himself.

As he passed, he looked in each room, thinking you might be there. If _he_ was then _you_ should’ve been, right?

“Are you done sneaking around?”

Jason turned to find Talia al Ghul standing a few feet away, a sword at her hip. They had met a few times, ‘met’ really meaning 'fought each other’. She was the daughter of Ra’s al Ghul, which meant if anyone could tell him what was going on, where you were, it was her.

“Where are they?!” It hurt his throat to finally speak, like he hadn’t done it in days, and the fact that he was yelling didn’t help.

“Jason, you need to calm down,” Talia warned him, her voice level even as he stepped closer to her.

His heart started pounding in his ears and he had the overwhelming urge to punch something. Preferably many somethings. But he really just wanted the answer to his question. Jason slammed Talia against the nearest wall, pinning her throat under his forearm. “Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! _Where are they?!_ ”

With a sigh, she grabbed his arm and pulled it away from her neck with ease. “Let me show you.”

Jason stepped back, his fists clenching at his sides as she began leading the way. As the two of them walked down the corridors, other hooded assassins passed, some of them staring at him.

Talia glanced back at him. “The men are a bit…apprehensive. After all, you did knock eight of them unconscious without even trying.”

“I don’t-”

The memory hit him all of a sudden, coming in fragments that he struggled to piece together. Emerging from a glowing green pool, screaming because of the agony. The rage that overtook him when someone tried to restrain him. Bones cracking under his fists and feet.

Jason stopped in his tracks and glared at her when she turned around. “What the hell did you do to me?”

“Everything will be explained, but first, you wanted to see (Y/N).” Talia gestured to the large wooden door beside him.

He quickly pushed the door open, thinking he might see you lying on a bed like he had been, dressed in the same light cotton. He expected you to somehow be alive and well just like he was, like your death had just been an awful nightmare.

That wasn’t the case.

The room was smaller and darker than the one he was in and had no furniture, just a glass case in the center emitting a blue light. There was a single guard in the room as well, who Talia silently ordered to leave.

Jason slowly approached the case, his heart beating faster the closer he got. There was a fog on the glass and he wiped it away as soon as he got within reach. What he saw took away any bit of hope he had.

It was you, still in your bloodied suit and broken mask, with your cut and bruised face. The only difference was the soot and dirt on your skin, and the tiny ice crystals in your hair, eyebrows, and lashes.

He dropped to his knees next to the case and put his hand to the glass, staring at you in shock. He was alive, so why weren’t you? Why were you being kept frozen while he was just fine?

“Do you know what a Lazarus Pit is, Jason?” Talia asked from the doorway.

He simply nodded before pressing his forehead against the cold glass. Bruce had mentioned it once or twice as the way that Ra’s lived so long, but not much beyond that.

“Along with the ability to heal and prolong life, a Lazarus Pit can revive the dead…” She took a few steps forward towards him. “My father used the one here in Nanda Parbat to bring you back to life.”

Jason shook his head and swallowed the lump in his throat. As the pieces of his memories started to join together, he realized she was telling the truth. “Why me?! Why not them?!”

A new silhouette blocked the light that came from the corridor, and he turned to find Ra’s al Ghul there in the doorway. “Because you are Robin, the Detective’s son. They were not.”

“Bring them back too! You can use the Lazarus Pit like you did for me!”

“No. I am afraid Lazarus Pits are very rare and only have a limited number of uses.” Ra’s’ words seemed final, but he couldn’t accept it. There had to be a way.

Jason was never one to beg for anything, and he learned long ago to not show weakness. It seemed he failed at sticking to that when there was still a possibility of a life with you. “I’ll do anything. _Anything_.” He could feel Ra’s’ eyes on him as a tear slipped down his cheek, one he’d tried hard to keep away.

“I have something in mind. Perhaps you will agree.” Jason tore his eyes away from you to turn to Ra’s as he continued. “If you join the League and complete one thousand assassinations within the next year, I will bring them back to you. Then you can both live your lives as you please.”

He returned to you again. Your broken, lifeless body, frozen and preserved. He had to right this wrong, but could he kill one thousand people to do it?

—-

_Jason sat at the mouth of an alley, the stench of garbage, among other things, smacking him right in the face. He had a pocket knife in his hand, ready in case someone tried to attack him. It wasn’t safe to be out in Gotham, especially at night, but he had nowhere else to go._

_His parents had been strung out for days and there was no food in the apartment. He had no money and didn’t have much luck stealing or finding anything in any dumpsters, so he tried to ignore the pangs of hunger. Hell of a life for an eight year old, but that was just how things were._

_Suddenly, you ran into the alley, pressing your back against the wall opposite him and breathing heavily. He jumped, almost striking at you out of pure instinct until he realized you were about his age and seemed not to notice him. Your face and clothes were dirty, maybe even more than his, and you held a sandwich in your hand._

_You slid down the wall to sit on the ground, unwrapping the food, when you saw him. You just looked at him for a moment, taking in his shabby appearance without an ounce of judgement. You glanced down at the sandwich, then back at him, and to his confusion, you tore it in half._

_Carefully, so you didn’t startle him, you reached over and held out one of the halves for him to take. He was hesitant of course, but he also hadn’t eaten in days, so he grabbed it from your hand and immediately took a bite._

_He watched you eat as he chewed his mouthful, his stomach turning a bit after finally having food in it after so long. You were devouring your half as fast as he was his, and he wondered why you’d even bothered giving him anything. No one else ever did. They just turned a blind eye to the skinny little boy with sunken cheeks._

_You polished yours off and balled up the wrapper before you tossed it at the dumpster. Not that it mattered though, the whole alley was covered in trash anyway._

_Jason took the last bite of his and noticed the way you hugged your knees close to your chest, staying as small as possible. After a long moment, he finally asked, “Why?”_

_“You looked like you needed it.” You shrugged before focusing your eyes on the street and watching the people and cars pass by._

_“Jason.” He said quietly, not exactly sure why he did, but he supposed that you knowing his first name couldn’t hurt anything._

_“(Y/N),” you replied, a soft smile on your face._

—-

His hand slid down the glass and he stood up, looking down at you one more time and thinking of all the good you had brought to his life since that day.

There was no question. For you, he would do whatever it took.


	3. Would You Bury Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to update this series here whoops. Anyway, I imagine Jason looking like he does in Young Justice as the “Red Hooded Ninja”.

It had been two weeks since Jason woke up in a living nightmare, where he was alive and you were dead. He agreed to the deal. He would kill one thousand people for the League, and Ra’s would then bring you back to life. The one out of the two of you that truly deserved a second chance at living.

Jason wanted to get started right away, but Ra’s declined. He ordered that Jason be further trained and guided before going off alone. Of course he didn’t like that, he just didn’t have a choice. He had to play the game for now.

Talia watched as Jason fended off the attacks of five other assassins, the clash of their blades echoing throughout the room. Another two were already on the ground and bleeding, alive but with wounded pride. She walked around the group, watching every move he made closely.

Jason stabbed one in the shoulder and yanked out the sword, smashing the hilt into the face of another and breaking his mask. The longer he fought them, the more aggressive he got. It wasn’t completely intentional because there was something deep inside of him clawing its way out.

Another ended up on the ground as Jason kicked his knee and forced it back, causing a loud crack. He knocked the sword of another out of his hand and snapped his arm.

“That is enough,” Talia said, and the assassins that weren’t on the ground stopped and stood at attention. Jason managed to stop himself as well, his chest quickly rising and falling as he held both of his blades in a white knuckle grip. “You are dismissed.”

The others left, but Jason didn’t, only coming to stand in front of Talia. “It’s been weeks. When are you giving me a mission?”

He asked every day, and every day it was the same answer. “When you’re ready.”

“How many of your assassins have I taken down since I got here? I _am_ ready.”

“Shiva and Bronze Tiger have done well with you in such a short time, but I am not sure that you’re prepared for this.”

Jason felt that anger bubbling up again. “Then what do I have to do to be prepared?”

Talia pulled out her blade and gripped it with both hands, a small smirk on her lips. “Impress me.”

Jason struck and she effortlessly blocked it with her blade. “Bruce taught you to incapacitate. Neutralize.” She attempted to knock his feet from under him, but he flipped backwards and avoided her. “But not to maim or kill.”

Jason quickly recovered and attacked again. “That’s why you think I can’t do this? You think I can’t kill?” he asked through their crossed swords.

“I know you can.” They parted and Talia cut a slit across the chest of his tunic, not quite touching skin. “But is this all truly worth it?”

“Yes,” he replied, lunging at her.

She blocked once more and thrust her sword at him, which he narrowly dodged. “Really? Would your beloved do the same if you were in that case instead? Or would they merely go back to Gotham and mourn?”

He could tell she was trying to get him distracted and upset, but that knowledge didn’t stop his anger. He doubled his efforts, hitting her even harder than he had been, though not giving an answer.

A few more blows were traded before Jason did the impossible. He sliced her upper arm deep, his sword flinging blood onto the floor as he followed through. Talia reached up and touched the wound, surprised he could even land a hit on her. After a moment of silence, she finally spoke. “Have you ever used a sniper rifle, Jason?”

“No, never.”

“You will tomorrow night. Meet me back here in an hour and I will teach you everything you need to know.”

Jason nodded, a little too eager to get started.

—-

After weeks, Jason was finally leaving Nanda Parbat to put the first of a thousand names in his ledger.

The force from the helicopter blades whipped his hair around as he jumped from the door to land on the roof. Talia was right behind, a case in her hand. As the craft took off again, Jason lifted his crimson hood up, his face already covered by a mask. He followed Talia’s lead and hopped over to another roof several buildings away, using some skills Bruce had taught him to get there.

If only Bruce could see him now.

Talia broke the lock on the roof access and they made their way down several sets of stairs. Jason wondered just how far down they were going until she put out a hand to stop him. They went through the door and into the hall of what looked like an office, heading toward a wall of windows.

She handed him the case and looked out of the window over Paris. “Use what you learned.”

Jason flipped the case open and quickly got to putting the rifle together, just like Talia had taught him. She only had to show him once and he was able to do it perfectly every time after. When you work with Batman, you have to be able to learn fast.

He finished assembling it and got into position, looking out through the scope. He quickly found his target, out in the open practically asking to get shot. The mark was the head of a major crime family in New York City, the rival of which had hired the League to get rid of him since he was their main competition.

The man was at his son’s extravagant outdoor wedding in Paris, watching as the couple exchanged vows, not expecting that it would be the last thing he ever saw. Jason asked before why they weren’t hired to kill the son as well, considering he would just inherit the business. It turned out his son was as incompetent as they come and the rival expected that he would run the family business into the ground.

Getting rid of a crime boss and basically ensuring that his legacy would be destroyed? That sounded more like a public service than anything.

He was still doing it for you over everything else, but the knowledge that the man wasn’t innocent in any definition of the word made him feel good about it.

Though he couldn’t help thinking of Talia’s question. Would you do this for him if your situations were reversed? Would you trade one thousand people to save him?

—-

_Jason trudged up the steps of the apartment building, stepping over trash, used needles, and god knows what else. He made his way down the hall as he passed the graffiti covered walls and the few people curled up and sleeping on the floor. He stopped in front of a familiar door and did a specific knock that the two of you had worked out._

_Usually, he would go see you when his parents were fighting or too far gone to care at all, which was basically all of the time. But that day, he was there for a very different reason than in all of the four years he’d known you._

_The lock clicked and you opened the door, knowing as soon as you saw him that something was wrong. You let him in and locked the door behind you. “What’s going on, Jay?”_

_Jason stood frozen in the middle of the apartment. He just looked around a moment, taking in the place. You’d been squatting there for about a month, all of it empty except a small portion of the living room where you slept and some food in the kitchen that you managed to steal. No electricity, no running water, but in your case, those were luxuries. Same for him, especially on the days he would come stay with you._

_He hoped you wouldn’t mind a more permanent arrangement._

_“My dad, he got sent to prison, and my mom…she’s…she’s…” He couldn’t even say the word because he still couldn’t quite believe it. He had been the one to find her body on the floor, but it didn’t seem real._

_You didn’t waste a moment to grab Jason and hold him tight, and he wrapped his arms around you as well. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, a tear slipping out. Tears welled up in your own eyes when you felt him shaking. “I’m so sorry.”_

_Jason knew your story. He knew that you understood what it felt like for everyone to die and leave you behind. Your parents were killed in a car accident when you were little and you had no other family, so you were constantly bounced between foster homes, each one worse than the last, until you finally gave up on them and decided to live on your own._

_You always said that Jason was your only family, and he realized that was true for him too as of that night, since he would likely never see his dad again._

_You pulled back from the hug and looked down at him since he was a few inches shorter, your hand going to hold his cheek. Jason would’ve been a liar if he said he didn’t sometimes appreciate how tenderly you treated him, especially in moments like this where he was at his lowest. “I’m here for you, Jay. Always. You can stay here with me if you want. We’ll get through this together like we do everything else.”_

_He leaned his face into your palm just a bit and nodded slowly, finally feeling sure of something for the first time in that very long day._

—-

Jason watched the man cheer for his son as he and his new wife kissed. He aimed and let out a breath before pulling the trigger. Moments later, there was a hole in the man’s head and his wife and guards were splattered with blood and brain matter. Chaos began to erupt, but Jason didn’t have time to stay and watch.

He quickly packed the rifle back up, then finally looked up at Talia, who had been observing the whole thing through a pair of binoculars.

“Well done.”

There wasn’t an inkling of regret in Jason’s heart or mind as he and Talia rode the helicopter back to Nanda Parbat. He never believed there would be, so it was really just confirmation of what he already knew.

He occasionally felt Talia’s eyes on him, and he wondered if she thought that he wouldn’t go through with it. That he would hand her the rifle and give up before he even started. She clearly didn’t know him.

When they landed, they walked back to the base in silence until Jason finally spoke. “They would.”

“Pardon?”

“(Y/N) would do this for me.”

He didn’t think he’d want you to, and he sure as hell wouldn’t deserve it, but he knew in his heart that you would do whatever you could to bring him back, just like he was doing for you.


	4. I'm Not Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucked up and added the wrong chapter lol. I thought I was only one chapter behind on here, not two. Sorry for the confusion.

Jason walked down the echoing hall, passing several hooded assassins on the way until he reached the door to his quarters. He swung the door open and closed it behind him, shutting himself in the small room. He pushed his hood down and pulled off his mask to toss it on the side table, then shed his tunic and undershirt as well as the swords strapped to his back. Finally, he sat back on the small cot with a sigh as he grabbed the small book he kept and wrote a new name.

That night, Jason had killed number 427 _and_ the two dozen henchmen it took to get to him. There was dried blood on his clothes and blades due to the carnage, but he just needed a moment. He had plenty of time to take care of it before the morning since he barely slept anyway.

Jason threw the book and pen to the side before putting his hands behind his head. Even though he was exhausted, he didn’t dare shut his eyes yet and instead stared at the ceiling as the fire light flickered.

The killing didn’t bother him necessarily, not even after months of it. Every person he was sent after had committed enough terrible crimes to warrant some justice being served, so there was no guilt. It was just that the more time he got from his dip in the pit, the more his mind began to clear. Jason wondered what you would really think of what he was doing. He wondered if you would hate him for it.

But he would rather have you alive and hating him, than dead and loving him. It was a fair trade, only if you _actually_ got to live again.

Jason had a feeling that Ra’s wasn’t exactly being honest about reviving you with the pit. The League had recovered your body as well as his, but why would they do that if there was no intention of bringing you back before the deal? He knew Ra’s was using him, the only question was whether the man actually meant to bring you back at all, or if you were just something to manipulate him.

Either way, he didn’t care. He was still going to go through with all of it because he had to at least try. And if Ra’s decided not to follow through on his end? Well, Jason had no problem with getting some revenge, but that was a problem for another time, if that time came.

He had another place to go first thing in the morning, where number 428 was meant to be, so he figured he should try and get at least a wink of sleep before then. He just hated it because he always went right to reliving the night that both of you died. As he closed his eyes, he tried to think of better times as if it would chase the nightmares away.

—-

_“You’re joking.”_

_“I’m not joking.”_

_You stared at Jason, dumbfounded. Both of you had gone out to get either money, food, or something to sell, but he came back empty handed after a run in with Batman. “You tried to take the wheels off of the Batmobile?”_

_Jason just shrugged. “He left it parked in Crime Alley. He was kind of asking for it.”_

_You could feel yourself start to panic a bit. What if Batman had arrested him? He would end up in juvie and then put in the system like you had been. You knew Jason would run away if that happened, but you couldn’t help being concerned. “Oh my god, Jason. He could’ve caught you. You could’ve been-”_

_He took your hand and you cut yourself off as he gave it a little squeeze. “But he didn’t catch me. I lost him.”_

_You looked past him at the door when a shadow caught your attention, your eyes widening slightly. “You sure about that?”_

_Jason turned to see what you were staring at, only to find the one and only Batman standing in the doorway of that month’s little rundown apartment. “I guess not.”_

_It turned out that Batman didn’t intend to arrest Jason, he merely wanted to talk to him. He offered him an opportunity to train with him and become the new Robin. To give him a home._

_You looked over at Jason, your hands still entwined, and you were crushed at the thought of him leaving, but you knew he deserved better. You knew he was meant for more than stealing tires and struggling to survive on the streets of Gotham. “You should go,” you said softly, squeezing his hand just like he did yours before._

_He ignored Batman for a moment and locked eyes with you, frowning in confusion. “What?”_

_Your eyes started watering, but you tried to hold it back for both of your sakes. “If you have a chance at a better life, you should take it.”_

_Jason shook his head. “Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going anywhere without you.” He turned back to Batman, who had been watching the exchange. “I’ll have to say no. We’re a packaged deal.”_

_“Jay…”_

_“Together, remember?”_

_The idea of him throwing away an opportunity like that for you broke your heart, but Jason Todd was nothing if not stubborn. You gave him a wobbly smile as you blinked the tears from your eyes. “Together.”_

_Neither of you expected the vigilante to accept both of you, and were even more surprised when the two of you ended up in a mansion owned by Bruce Wayne, who was apparently also the Batman._

_Jason stood in front of a case in the Batcave which held the costume of Dick Grayson, the first Robin. After some training with Bruce, he would have a suit of his very own, as would you. “If I’m Robin, who are you?”_

_“I was thinking about that actually.” You came to stand next to him, and slipped an arm around his waist, looking at the old Robin suit as well. It seemed he would have red, green, and yellow covered, so you decided that your suit should be blue. “Assuming we want to stick with the bird theme, it seems like most of those are taken already…but I like Sparrow.”_

_With a smile, he put his arm over your shoulders, and you couldn’t help smiling back at him. “It’s perfect.”_

—-

Jason sat up in the cot, his head in his hands. He’d been asleep maybe a few minutes before the nightmares began. He could hear the crowbar smacking your flesh and cracking your skull, smell the metallic stench of blood, feel the horrible pain in every inch of his body. And that laugh.

That _fucking_ laugh.

He had to relive both of your deaths every time he slept, every time he closed his eyes. These nightmares, he couldn’t pull himself out of. He had to see them through until the end, when he would wake up in a sweat, gasping for air.

If he hadn’t gone after Sheila…Hell, if he had never agreed to go with Bruce at all, everything would be okay. The two of you would’ve been fighting to survive all the time, but at least you would be together. At least both of you would most likely still be alive.

He would happily go back to the nights where the weather in Gotham was below freezing and the place the two of you stayed in had no power, so you had to try and keep each other warm as you shivered under one blanket. When you would be the lookouts for each other while stealing things. When people would try to hurt one or both of you for being ‘filthy street rats’ and Jason would risk his own safety to protect you, leading to more than a few scars.

But that was impossible.

All he had now was his mission.


	5. The Ghost Of You

One last gunshot rang out through the room as the target’s body slumped to the floor, joining the bodies of his friends and leaving Jason as the last one standing. Not for long though, because his head began to pound and his vision was swimming. He looked down at his stomach and found his tunic wet with blood. He’d almost forgotten that he’d been hit with a few bullets at one point, too focused on getting the job done to think about it.

“ _Shit_.”

Jason backed up a few steps until he hit the wall and he slowly slid down it, keeping pressure on the wound as he took his mask off. His location was fairly remote, nowhere close where he could go and take care of it on his own. There wasn’t much else he could do at the moment other than contact the League and wait. He pressed the button on the signal Talia gave him and stared up at the ceiling, already feeling more fatigued than he had before.

Part of him thought it might be nice to go out like this, just fade out and join you, but at the same time, he was so close to the goal. Even with this unfortunate injury, Jason had still managed to complete the contract and not screw up the deal with Ra’s. This man had been number 794. One name closer.

“You refer to them by numbers? That’s a bit fucked up, isn’t it?”

Jason jumped at the sound, aggravating his wounds even more and causing his head to throb. It took him a second because it had been so long, but he knew that voice too well. When he looked up, he saw you standing a few feet away with your arms crossed over your chest. You appeared just like the last time he’d seen you alive, dressed in your torn up Sparrow suit, drenched in blood. The half of the domino mask was still on your bruised and broken face, leaving one eye exposed. You seemed to be able to stand and speak just fine, which was the only real difference that he could see. Other than the fact that you were supposed to be dead.

“What the hell…?”

“You lost a lot of blood while fighting those guys.” When he didn’t say anything, you uncrossed your arms and looked down at yourself. “So…the death look, huh? Do you really want to torture yourself that much? I mean, you deserve it, but still.“

“You’re not real,” Jason mumbled, turning back to the ceiling and squeezing his eyes shut. Great, this was _exactly_ what he needed right now.

“No shit, _babe_.” It didn’t sound right, more bitter and hollow than affectionate. Not the sweet sound that he could remember as clear as day. “I’m frozen in a tube on Nanda Parbat, waiting for the day that Ra’s throws my body in the ocean or something. No thanks to you.“

“I won’t let him do that.”

You walked over and sat down next to him with a deep sigh. “I don’t think you have much of a choice. And I’m your subconscious, so I know you think that too.”

Jason leaned forward from the wall slightly, ignoring the way his body screamed at him to sit back, and finally looked at the fake you again. You were right, he didn’t exactly have faith that Ra’s would bring you back. “I’ll kill him. I’ll bring you back myself and burn that fucking place to the ground.”

Your eyebrows, at least the one he could see, raised. "If only you’d been that passionate about saving me when it really mattered. When my bones were shattered and I was choking on my own blood. We promised we would always protect each other. You _lied_.”

He clenched his fist, his bruised knuckles stinging. He knew this wasn’t real, just an image that his brain was conjuring up from the blood loss, but he still liked seeing and talking to you again, even though this version of you was cutting him with every venomous word. More blood leaked out through his fingers and he felt like he was going to throw up, maybe from the bleeding, maybe from the guilt. “I know it’s my fault you were there, and I didn’t save you, but I’ll bring you back. I’ll do whatever it takes. You deserve to be alive, not me. I _never_ deserved it.”

You shook your head with a humorless laugh. “You’re right, you don’t deserve it. You should be dead and I should be alive. But you’re fucking delusional if you think you’re anything other than Ra’s’ pawn. This is all for nothing.”

His head started pounding harder and he felt cold and tired. He wondered if it was how you felt as you slowly died from your wounds. Unlike him, you hadn’t died instantly. “No. No, it’s not.” More words came to mind, but he began to find it a little more difficult to breathe.

“Jason, we’ve been through so much shit together. I thought it would always be you and me, that you loved me like I loved you. But you went after Sheila and you knew I would follow, you just didn’t care. You didn’t think about the consequences. For _either_ of us.“

He knew it was true. He decided to run off into something unknown without even thinking it through, and you were dead because of it. Because you loved and trusted him for some reason that he never understood.

Jason rested his head back against the wall and focused on the ceiling again, feeling himself begin to fade. The blood finally soaked through his gloves, touching his fingers. His eyes became glossy with tears as he tried to hold them back. He wasn’t sad for himself, but for you. For what he did to you, and for the fact that he screwed it all up when he was so close to saving you. "I’m sorry…”

“Sorry’s not enough, Jason,” was the last thing he heard before his vision closed in and unconsciousness took him.

—-

_The two of you sat together on your bed, Jason’s head laying on your lap as he read ahead in the latest novel that your English teacher had assigned. He couldn’t get enough of it. He’d always loved reading, whenever he could actually get his hands on a book that is, but after Bruce adopted the both of you, he had an endless supply._

_You had already finished what homework you had for the day, so you just wanted to relax there with Jason until it was time for patrol. Thankfully Bruce and Alfred didn’t bother trying to keep you out of each other’s rooms like they used to, which meant you didn’t have to worry about being caught. Both of you could just enjoy it. You let your head rest back against the headboard as your fingers absentmindedly combed through his dark hair._

_Jason glanced up at you over the top of his book and smiled softly, closing his eyes for a moment at the feeling. He could definitely fall asleep just like that. He had before._

_You felt his eyes on you and looked down, returning his smile as you brushed a stray hair from his forehead._

—-

He still felt the lingering touch as he woke up in a cold sweat, staring at the ceiling in his quarters. A pain shot through up from his stomach as he tried to sit up, and he looked down to find bandages wrapped around his middle, as well as an iv in his arm giving him blood and a monitor attached to his other arm. The sudden movement made him dizzy and nauseated like before, so he sat back against the wall and tried to catch a breath.

The events before were hard to piece together in his clouded mind. He remembered going on the mission, getting shot, killing the target, and seeing you before passing out. Then there were flashes of what he assumed was him being brought back to Nanda Parbat. The pain of the bullets moving around in his abdomen as someone carried him, glimpses of Talia as well as the night sky, her commanding voice saying things he couldn’t quite make out.

He could only really focus on how he saw you again. It wasn’t you, not really. He knew you, and you would never say things like that to him. That didn’t mean he didn’t deserve to hear every single bit of it though.

There was a knock on the door, distracting Jason from his thoughts, and Talia entered after a moment. “How do you feel?” She asked, shutting the door behind her.

“Fine,” he said as if she hadn’t seen him nearly dead and in a pool of his own blood mere hours ago.

Talia simply hummed as she walked over and checked the monitor as well as the blood bag, which was now empty. Jason watched as she removed the iv from his arm, her face unreadable.

He glanced at his arm while she removed the needle then looked up at her. “When’s my next mission?”

Talia seemed amused as she asked a question of her own. “Do you believe that you are in any shape for that?”

_No_ , but he had to be. “Yes.”

“It is not too late to give up on this, Jason,” Talia said, like she did any other time he got hurt. “You have been given a second chance, it would be a waste for you to die again so soon.”

Jason shook his head. He usually just replied with a simple _no_ , but this time he said more. “I’m not giving up. I want to use my second chance to give them one. I don’t care if it kills me.”

Her voice was softer than he expected, thoughtful even, when she finally spoke again. “You truly love them, don’t you? Interesting…”

He didn’t have a chance to ask what she meant or question the slight frown on her face before she turned towards the door. “I will inform you of the next mission when I have word. Until then, you must rest.”

Jason didn’t bother arguing as she left him alone once more. His eyes stayed on the door for a moment until he carefully moved to lay down again, wincing slightly at the pain it caused. He had a feeling that even though he was hurt and exhausted, rest wouldn’t come easy that night.


	6. Better Off This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to reference one of my very favorite Young Justice episodes :). Hope you guys like this one. There’s only the final chapter/epilogue left after this.

This was it. Over nearly a year, Jason had completed 999 contracts for the League without missing a single one. Tonight was the last, the one that was supposed to bring you back. If he failed to take this person out, there would be no second chances.

He wasn’t given much information about the target before being sent to Seattle. He knew she was a queen who just recently went through a surgery and had been recovering for a few days. Apparently there was a previous attempt on her life just before the surgery that ended up going south. The last person screwed up, but he wouldn’t.

Jason found the stashed motorcycle and got on, ready to get to the hospital and get this over with. He rode through the streets of Seattle, too focused to think about the fact that this was his first time back in the country since before he died. After a few minutes of riding, he parked the bike in a nearby alley and made his way to the building.

He had been given a floor and room number to find the queen, so all he had to do was get past any guards. Talia suggested scaling the building and gave him the tools for it. It would be much slower and have the risk of someone seeing him through a window, but it was also less risky than making his way through the actual hospital. After the last attempt, he knew guards would be swarming the inside.

It took time and a lot of dodging windows that had their blinds open for him to finally make it to the right window. He looked into the room, seeing four guards within, but the target was hidden behind the curtain. There were probably more outside the door waiting for trouble. He knew he could take them.

Jason carefully slid the window open and climbed in, nearly scoffing at the poor excuses for bodyguards. He threw down a gas capsule, which his mask protected him from, and the guards finally sprung into action at the sight of it. Or they tried to, until it knocked them out cold. The noise of their bodies falling got the attention of the other guards outside and they busted in, firing off shots which he easily avoided. One ended up with a knife in the heart, while he impaled one with his sword and shot another with a gun from one of the unconscious guards. Finally, he pulled back the curtain and pointed the gun at the target, but he stumbled back slightly when he saw her.

The queen was a little girl, no more than 10. She stared him down, not begging for her life like so many others as she wanted to keep her dignity.

Jason immediately felt sick and his vision went red. The queen was a child and Ra’s sent him to kill her on purpose. He knew full well that was where he drew the line and he sent him on the assignment anyway. Jason dropped the gun and picked up a chair, hurling it into the wall with an enraged yell.

He would never be able to kill a kid.

 _He failed_.

—-

Jason had just barely managed to keep his anger reined in until he reached his quarters, where he immediately grabbed the small table and smashed it on the floor. He kept seeing Ra’s’ face mocking him as he told him the deal was done. No do overs, no different contract. The queen was it.

How could he have let himself think there was even a chance that Ra’s would actually go through with it? He felt so stupid for having any bit of hope, but now that he knew the deal was off, he had to plan. He fully intended to put you in the Lazarus Pit himself and kill Ra’s before burning down the League base. He wanted to destroy it _all._

There was a knock on the door and Jason yanked the door open to find Talia. “May I come in?” He eyed her suspiciously and stepped back, closing the door behind her. She noticed the pieces of broken wood scattered across the floor. “I see you spoke to my father.”

“Did you know?”

Talia hesitated for a moment, noting his stiff body and clenched fists. “Yes. I knew from the moment he made the agreement that he would not let you complete it. Knowing that you would not kill a child, Queen Perdita was the perfect final mission.”

Jason knew it already, but hearing it from the one living person on the whole damn island that he had even a _tiny bit_ of trust in made it worse. Without even thinking, he lashed out at Talia. She caught his fist before it could connect and if he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought there was fear in her eyes. “Jason, I can help you.”

“You’ve done enough.” He yanked his hand from her grip and his glare burned right into her eyes. “I’ll do this on my own.”

“If you do, neither of you will make it off of this island alive. Even if you manage to resurrect them, you cannot escape alone. My father will kill you both.”

“Not if I kill him first.”

“I will handle my father. I can help you get them into the Lazarus Pit and give you a chance to escape. Without me, you _will_ fail.”

Trusting Talia wasn’t the most appealing idea, but he didn’t have many options. She was the best chance at bringing you back and getting you off the island. And if she betrayed him, well, then you would both be dead together once again. Either way, he would be with you, right? What did he have to lose?

“Fine. What’s your plan?”

—-

Jason stayed up waiting for the time that he and Talia agreed on. Late at night there would only be a few guards awake while the others slept, meaning it was the perfect opportunity. The time came and he snuck out of the room, avoiding the guards and heading towards the room you had been kept in for the past year.

He entered to find Talia there waiting. The usual eerie blue glow from the case was gone, leaving the room dark other than the light from the torch on the wall. The glass was retracted and he could see you, the icy look gone from your face and hair. Jason carefully picked you up and noticed that your body was still stiff and a bit heavier than usual. Luckily he’d gotten stronger since the last time he needed to carry you. He shook that thought from his head and followed Talia out of the door.

The two of them managed to avoid the patrols until they reached the door that led down to the pit, only to find half a dozen assassin’s guarding it. Of course Ra’s was smart enough to know that Jason would try something. Talia was right, you and him probably wouldn’t have made it off of the island since he couldn’t do too much fighting with you in his arms.

“Remember, as soon as they are revived, you must run. I will meet you after. Now go.” Talia attacked the men, graceful as ever as she dispatched them effortlessly.

Jason took that chance to run for the door, barely dodging a knife that was thrown at him before making it through. He went down the spiral stone steps two at a time, not wanting to waste a second. Only when he made it to the bottom, he found over a dozen more guards waiting around the pool. He was so close, he couldn’t fail now.

He put you over his shoulder instead and when the first assassin tried to attack, he kicked his knee backwards and took his sword. The yells echoed through the room, but that didn’t stop the others from attacking. He killed two more and got closer to the edge of the pit. This was his chance, so he tossed your body into the glowing green water with a splash.

The light became brighter, but Jason ignored that for the moment. He needed to focus on getting rid of these assassins so the two of you could escape. Another sword ended up in his newly free hand before he used it to stab one man, while he cut off another’s arm with the other. He was doing fine handling them, until he heard the agonized screams coming from you.

Jason glanced over and there you were standing in the water, completely drenched. The next moment, you lunged at one of the assassins, and you broke his neck with your bare hands. Jason saw your eyes glowing an unnatural green, but there was something else underneath, something he didn’t recognize. Your eyes were wild and bloodthirsty. Maybe that was why so many of the assassins had been scared of him after he first came back.

He wasn’t scared of you though, not even when the last assassin went down and you pounced on _him_. “(Y/N), it’s me. It’s Jason.”

Nothing. You just kept trying to gouge his eyes out. Jason took out the syringe Talia had given him when they discussed the plan and quickly jabbed it into your neck, pushing down on the plunger. She had warned him that you would be like this when you first returned, but he’d hoped he could get through to you somehow.

Your body slowly relaxed, and though Jason hated that he had just put drugs in your body, he was glad that he could now get you out of there without a struggle. He picked you up and ran to meet Talia at the planned spot, the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. She meant for the two of you to swim the few miles to land and he wasn’t sure that he would be able to make it while carrying you until he saw the water. It seemed calm enough. Maybe this would really work.

Jason waited there, daring to look down at you for a moment. It wasn’t exactly the time to let his mind wander, but he couldn’t help being happy that you were breathing again. He’d get you somewhere safe and far away from Nanda Parbat, and the whole nightmare of a year would be worth it.

Voices in the distance distracted him and moments later he saw Talia running in his direction. Far behind her were several assassins, including Ra’s al Ghul. Jason was ready to set you down and fight, but Talia stopped in front of him first. She held a bag, which she attached to your suit so it wouldn’t be lost.

“You remain unavenged,” was the only thing she said before she shoved both of you off of the cliff and into the water below.


End file.
